I participated in a roundtable email discussion on doing church. Here is the article posted at Barclay Press.
Many people are talking these days about the ìemerging church.î In fact, Amazon.com has an ìemerging church storeî for resources on the topic. We can read as much as we could ever want about the definition of the emerging church in this postmodern age or the ìrightî styles of worship to engage this culture, but what about the people who are supposedly being reached by this movement? What do these ìfirst citizensî of the postmodern age think about the church?
In the following roundtable discussion young adults tell about their experience of the church, both the joys and the frustrations. All the participants are on the leading edge of this new culture shift. They are ambassadors, trying to build bridges between the church and a new culture, to communicate truth in both directions.
All have been a part of the church most of their lives, so they give an ìinsidersí viewî of who we are and where we might be heading.
What good memory do you have about the church? What provided a sense of connection and made you glad you were involved?
AJ: My favorite memories as a child are of church potlucks: the adults standing around socializing, the kids running amuck. I come from a small family, so my church gave me that sense of ìbig extended familyî that others get from blood relatives.
My favorite memory as an adult would be the Sunday that Judah, my son, was dedicated: All of our family plus high school and college friends as well as those whoíve been important in my single and married life (youth leaders, small group friends, etc.) were there, recognizing our desire to raise Judah up in the ways of Christ and offering their support to both Judah and us.
Jamie: The best memories are those that revolve around the sense of community that the church offers. Just recently Erin and I were stuck with a difficult decision we had to make, and our conversations with each other were cyclical, and really going nowhere. It was not until we began to involve our small group from church in the process that we started to sense clarity in the issue. They walked with us through each grueling step, and really became the voice of God to Erin and me. To go through challenges and suffering as a community provides the deepest connection possible with the larger community.
Willis: After months of youth group hopping, I had given up on finding a youth group ñ I wanted something real, not a show or popularity contest. One friend continued to invite me to his youth group; finally I just went to shut him up, thinking it would be the same as all the rest. To my great surprise, the leaders seemed sincerely interested in me and even more surprising the other youth seemed to care. There was something different about this group ñ and I was hooked.
Wess: The first six months of pastoring, we faced great adversity to the whole idea of a youth pastor. The good part of the memory is that my senior pastor showed true empathy for me and my to-be wife. He told me that he was there to help me get through it, andÖthat he believed in me as a minister, trusting that God had sent us to that body. His empathetic support has shaped the way I understand Christian ministryóand has challenged me to be Christlike in the way I lay my life down for my brother or sister who is in need of the compassionate love of Christ. The willingness to struggle with one another, the longsuffering of the community has for me shown the most promise, or the most failure.
Sandy: When my husband left my girls and me, the people in the church really put their arms around usÖ.they didnít give us answers, they just pointed us to Jesus and loved us. I was glad I was in the Friends Church at the time, because many other churches would not have let me continue to ìleadî or teach. When I think about connection, I also think about being in each otherís homes.
Michael: I have lots of good memories about my past in the church. Most of them have to do with family and friends; relationships. Music too I supposeósinging, playing my horn. I have some important memories of being made aware that people in the church were praying for me; sometimes people I didnít even know well. It is easy to feel connected when you feel loved. Hearing you are being prayed for is hearing you are loved.
Jill: One memory that comes to mind is a church meeting in the rural Mexican village of Teita, where my parents work as Bible translators. Juan played guitar and he and his younger sister sang with mics, and at first I was just cringing at the loud, off-key singing. The people around me were singing and clapping joyfully, and I realized how much my music knowledge was hindering me from truly enjoying worshiping God like these people. I felt pretty stupid, and finally was able to give that up and just sing. The whole meeting really challenged my ideas of what a church service should be like, as opposed to the American performance-oriented idea of looking and sounding good.
Joseph: I always enjoyed it when our pastor would dress up as a Bible character to give his sermon. I also have fond memories of having company over for lunch after church or going to another familyís house for lunch after church.
What is your ideal definition of ìchurchî?
AJ: Church isnít the building. It isnít the steeple. It is the people. Wherever Christians gather together, thatís church. Itís a lifestyle, not an activity. Itís a way of living, not a once-a-week event. I desire actual community. Iíd like to be in a community where no topic is taboo. Where we can discuss and engage in the ìhardî topics (sex, drinking, gay rights, other religions, all the American cultural hot topics) rather than seeing them in black and white ìthis is good/this is badî categories.
Iíd like to be in a community that cares about people other than themselves: proactive in getting into their immediate community and helping to meet emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. Iíd like to be in a community thatís okay experimenting with things in worship: lectio divina, ìemerging churchî style worship, traditional, etc. (when we cling to our worship styles, we worship the style rather than Godóitís become an idol). Iíd like to be in a place where I can study and learn from othersóa place thatís really into reading the Bible as a means of learning about God and being in relationship with God. Iíd like to be in a multigenerational community where the elders offer to mentor the youngers, and the youngers are given the ability to equally participate in the community.
Valerie: I think ìchurchî is ideal when it is smallerófor example, Bible studies or small groups. This is not to say that bigger church bodies are not good, but it has been my experience that spiritual growth is best nurtured in a small group of peopleÖsay between 4 and 12 people. I think it is where people are intimately connected both spiritually and personally, and show grace toward each other in that they allow each other to be who God made them as unique individuals.
Jamie: My ideal definition includes biblical teaching, with time to mull how God is leading us all to a further understanding of himself. We would be well-served as the church to understand the entire body of Christ, i.e. the communion of saintsóthose that have come before… as well as those of the present. And finally, we need an ability to look forward, to address the future needs of the church and culture, to be continually looking beyond the borders of the church.
My wife, Erin, and I just experienced church-searching about three years ago, so it is fresh in our memories. We wanted a place where we both could exercise our gifts and passions, a place that had need for the areas we felt we could assist. We also wanted a place that had biblical preaching, varied worship styles, and a wide variety of people involved in the community. And we wanted a place that felt like a community, where we felt welcomed, and where we felt we were a part of something greater than a weekly meeting.
Sandy: I think the ìchurchî is the whole body of those who believe in Christ. Ideally, we would trust Christís work in each other, remembering that it is Christ in us that leads us. We would work together in our different giftings, we would really believe that God gave us new, good hearts and that we could trust each otherís hearts, even when we made mistakes. We would be vulnerable, real, and humble.
Wess: The church is to be a people who listen, who live in mission, who worship Christ, and who are hospitable. Like AJ said, the church is a people, not a building, not an event, it is when my wife and I have friends over for dinner, eat and drink together, and share stories with one another, encouraging, challenging, and shaping one another.
I am looking for relationships within a small body of people, where people know me, where there is mutual trust and love, honest conflict and reconciliation, where we submit ourselves to the deeper narratives of our own tradition within the narrative of Christianity as a whole, where we not only study the scriptures, but the fathers and mothers of faith who have gone before us. I am looking for a body that is willing to gather in a living room, a bar, a coffee shop, a backyard, or even skid-row, people who are willing to get their hands dirty for Christ, who embody his mission statement located in Luke 4:17-19.
Jill: To me the church should be full of love, encouragement, challenge, and discipleship. It should be a place to learn my gifts and to use them, a setting in which to grow closer to God. It needs to be a community that gets past the outer show and traditions of the church, and seeks a true relationship with God.
AJ: I guess my desire is summed up with the idea that church should be a culture: something that defines my lifestyle, rather than just fills a Sunday morning.
Tell us more about ìchurch as cultureî rather than as a weekly event.
Wess: Jesus taught us to pray ìgive us our daily bread.î So the church community might seek a lifestyle change by saying ìhey, if we expect God to provide our basic needs, how can we make sure that we are providing for those in need around us? How can we make sure we are not taking the daily bread of others?î It is this kind of discourse and interpretation of scriptures into our daily context that helps us discern how the Spirit wishes for us to actually live out Christís teachings.
In my own experience, we tend to engage culture, but reject much of its value systems. For instance, our small group of 10-12 people understands God to be in all aspects of culture, so we donít create secular vs. sacred categories. We listen to Christian and non-Christian music, we watch movies of all sorts, we enjoy moderate drinking, we read non-Christian literature and look for God within the stories, we hang out in placesÖwhere there are many questionable characters and certainly much more questionable behavior. We try to have friends who are not believers, we look for God within all people, and the truth within all types of faith. Our critique of culture comes not just from what we say, but actually how we live. We feel we can best critique it from inside. This is a different approach to culture than much of American Christianity, which tends to buy into American values of individualism, patriotism, materialism, and capitalism, while vocally rejecting cultural morality.
AJ: I read a great book, The Continuing Conversion of the Church, which talked about the church being a culture, describing things I hadnít thought about before. By looking at the Old Testament we get to read about a culture created by God. This culture, or ìchurch,î dictated every aspect of their lives. While they wandered and didnít seem to have much of a ìnational homelandîî they remained true to the culture, the way of life that God gave them. However, the way I do church today fits into my American culture; my American culture has taken precedence over my Christian culture. It goes along with all the Barna statistics saying Christian Americans and non-Christian Americans live pretty similar lives (with divorce, how they spend money, etc.). Iíd say I mostly think of myself as a Christian American when I should be thinking of myself as an American Christian.
How do we break our addiction to the weekly gathering as being the fulfillment of church?
Wess: Partially this can be broken just by the way we talk about it. When I go to my favorite bar with my Christian brothers to have a fun but serious time of reflection and accountability, we talk about it in ìchurchî ways. We are meeting as an act of being in community together, bearing one anotherís burdens, and listening to each otherís stories, giving the love of Christ to each other. These things to me seem to be what is more important, rather than the time and location of where these things take place. Another aspect of this is when the church gathers to do something missionally, serving with one another. So we are doing church when we march for peace, when we speak out against systemic injustices in our own cities, towns, and neighborhoods, when we invite the homeless over for dinner, when we buy clothes for a single mother who doesnít have a job, etc. Naming these activities as ìchurchî helps train us to see it that way.
Valerie: Our attitude about the church, how we view it, makes a difference. Do we see it only as something to be consumed, so to speak, or do we see it as a way we give of ourselves?
AJ: It is apparent that God wants us to ìgo out.î Christ spent most of his time teaching and healing othersómoving among the people. He gathered folks together for times of community (usually eating)óbut the goal seemed to be encouraging and equipping them to move out.
If a church is rooted in Scripture, is practicing the spiritual disciplines, is spending time one on one with God, I think itíd be hard to stay internalóthereíd be a restlessness, a discontent.
I think Gen X/Y recognizes that there needs to be more than an ìaddiction to inward-focused worship gatheringsî; that thereís more out there, like helping neighbors and making a differenceóbeing an advocate. In churches where the addiction isnít broken, these generations tend to leave the church.
Where does your current church experience fall short or even frustrate your attempts to be part of that ideal church?
Willis: From my perspective the traditional church appears, to the postmodern Christian, to be non-transparent (hiding the ìundesirableî), where the emerging church seems too ìfeelings-basedî for the modernist. While there may be truth to both sides, I feel confident that there is a middle ground. Unfortunately, I donít see much of an attempt from either side to be vulnerable to the other.
AJ: I feel like many of our resources are used to maintain the ìchurchî: keep the building going, pay for staff, offer Bible studies and groups that never go ìoutward.î Itís not a natural cultural structureÖitís a business structure. I feel this style isnít necessarily the best or most efficient use of our resources, but folks feel frightened or threatened byÖdealing with an ìunknown structure.î Also, the generations are segregated: children in childrenís church, youth in youth group, college groups areÖlacking, and adults (usually families) do ìadult/familyî stuff.
I donít always feel comfortable sharing or being honest. I have that whole ìgotta look like I have it togetherî pride thing going on. I donít necessarily feel like thereís a place to talk about the ìhard stuff,î for me or other hurting people. And Iím not sure people feel like they can be ìhealed upî at the church: they feel like theyíve got to have [it] together before they walk in the door.
Sandy: It is always a battle to be vulnerable with one another. Even though our group is small, it is hard to make time for everyone to share when they need to.
Jill: One thing that has frustrated me is the churchís outward emphasis on performance, especially regarding the music programs (which Iíve been very involved in and enjoy). A lot of times they seem to take the place of the congregation worshiping together.
Joseph: There is a lack of connection at my current church. While Iíve been attending for close to two years, I still feel like a visitor every Sunday unless I am somehow involved in the service.
Wess: We could do much better about seeking to live more missionally within my city. Though we try much more than any church I have been a part of, there is much to be said for a church that corporately makes a stand within a city for issues on things like poverty and justice for immigrants. Also, we could be much better about discipling and gathering people to the body, creating disciples who are committed to being a part of the community and a radical vision.
Where do you sense hope regarding your definition of ìchurchîÖeither in your church or in the culture in general?
Joseph: Actually, I am not very hopeful. I donít believe the church was meant to exist in a cultural context in which it was not in tension with the society around it. In America, the church often seems to align itself with the government and/or the culture, striving to fit with these structures. I find myself drawn to churches that do not use their surrounding culture as a measuring stick of their success, such as home churches or the Orthodox church.
Willis: I see God working within individualsí lives. I hear peopleís testimony to the call that God has placed on their lifeóto help the church transition to meet the needs of a changing culture. I see lives being transformed by the power of Christ, and those people banding together to serve, perhaps in nontraditional ways and with nontraditional methods but to the glory of God.
AJ: I sense a desire in my church to be more transparent with each other, to share openly and honestly: in open worship, in small groups. People are beginning to share their honest stories and experiences, adding it to the ìcollective wisdom.î One of the most treasured experiences Iíve had in church came from my participation in a small group called ìCompanions in Christîóit was a 28-week course going through spiritual formation material. We took about eight months to get through it, a multigenerational group from all walks of life. I connected with folks that I never wouldíve even said hello to, and we walked together through some pretty important times of our lives.
I sense a desire for folks to continue worshiping and living this out through their weekónot to be ìeventî based, but to make it a lifestyle.
Jamie: I see hope in the fact that churches can bridge cultural gaps in a way that is hard in ordinary settings. Culturally, I also carry a lot of hope. I feel that Christians are beginning to infiltrate certain sectors in which they have had little influence in the past. Academia, arts, and politics are just a few.
Michael: It seems like the ìinstitutionî of my church is intentionally designed to allow people to find where they fit. Thatís a good thing. There are many opportunities for folks to ìministerî through their personal gifts. I play my horn with the brass group. I help with the Alpha program. I build supportive relationships in a small group and more.
I think we are just starting to realize that our place in the world is to build loving relationships, and that one role of the church is to enable each other to do that. These loving relationships are often the worldís first glimpse of a relationship with Christ and they take many forms. I am encouraged to see us realize that ìwhat weíve always doneî may not be what the Spirit wants us to be doing now.
Sandy: I see a desire for shared life in our home meeting, which seems to be the only way to learn each otherís giftings and hearts. I see a group of people who are choosing to allow ourselves to need each other.
What could your faith community do better to connect with its surrounding culture?
Willis: Develop programs to actually make contact and begin relationship buildingÖas well as deliberately learn the cultures around the area.
AJ: I think my faith community could work on being a resource, both for the community of folks who need help (physically, emotionally, and mentally) and for the folks that attendóequip them to be missionaries in their daily lives. Perhaps provide specific times to use the spiritual disciplines in seeking Godís will for the church or individuals to move.
Wess: There are many things we could do better, we could be more faithful in our own lifestyle, we could be less wasteful, we could share more, and be more generous with those around us. I struggle with hospitality, and letting people be who they are without wanting to force change upon them. But one big struggle we deal with is the need to be around more non-Christians.
Joseph: The first step is to understand our surrounding culture and to invite it into relationship with us. We must step out of what we are comfortable with in worship and in outreach and shift our focus to meet othersí needs rather than our own. I think prayer is a significant first step. As a church prays for the needs of those around it, not only will they be led to action but they will be connected with one another in their pursuit of this action. If churches were willing to be less Sunday-centered and more outward focused in worship and ministry, then I think changes would occur.
In summary, our roundtable felt that
* ìchurchî is more than an event. It should be a lifestyle…a way of interacting with others and a way of viewing the world. Meaningful gatherings, regardless of the time or location or size, are crucial.
* ìchurchî is a place where we should be needed. Not to fill a slot that any warm body can fill, but a place where the uniqueness of each person fills a unique place in the Body.
* ìchurchî is about relationships, which includes confrontation, healing, fun, vulnerability, authenticity, longsuffering. Post-boomers have a deep need for family…and are redefining what that looks like.
* ìchurchî includes food and eating together! Actually, ìtable fellowshipî was a huge part of the early church and had more significance than just a ìpotluck.î There seems to be a growing desire for sharing food as a way of celebration and connection.
* ìchurchî does not require a specific style of worship. A specific style wasnít even mentioned by our interviewees. Perhaps much of the current energy being focused on ìpostmodern worship stylesî is misplaced. Not only is the church ìserviceî less significant in their overall definition of ìchurch,î but the tempo didnít seem to be an issue.
Todayís emerging generations want healthy, authentic relationships that integrate the whole of their lives: spiritual and secular, serious and fun, work and celebration. They are drawn to gatherings that are less scripted and allow for good interaction and sharing. They have a loving heart for Christís body, and desire to see it be vital, making an impact in the lives of those involved as well as those outside its web of commitment. Format matters less than authenticity, even ìtraditionalî approaches meet their needs if there are caring relationships and good communication.