I don’t have a pulpit, but I do have this blog that can be used as a place to share my story, explain some thoughts, prompt questions, encourage action and contemplation. If I were a really quality blogger, I would have the journey planned out into a series of blog posts that fall into a theme. But instead I have brief moments between chasing a magazine-eating bebe, playing instruments with a preschooler, and wondering what it would take to start making my own condiments.
I must confess: I rarely answer my cell phone. I don’t answer our landline either, mostly because I don’t have one. 🙂 People may think that I’m ignoring them, but actually I have a very selective window of being able to talk on the phone, because when I talk on the phone, this strange condition comes over my household in which people under four feet are compelled to demand my attention and/or destroy things. It does not make for ideal conversation. So I use my cell phone as a really expensive answering machine and often respond to folks by email, because for some reason, the small people don’t realize that I can communicate with the outside world through my computer . . . yet.
Gregg called and left me a message. It was a long message as I sat waiting for the “whirl” of the phone to say that I had a “new message!” When I listened, I was a little flumoxed. “The elders have appointed a group to look at worship at NFC. . . . Called “Next Steps” . . . Next step after the first worship assessment group who did the surveys . . . Going to be implementing things . . . Hadn’t included you in first group because thought you’d be more suited for implementation than assessment . . . Elders wondered if you’d be part. . .”
First, I felt flattered: it’s fun to be included. Second, I felt relief about why I hadn’t been included in the first group: honestly, my feelings had been a little hurt because, hello: who babbles about worship stuff all the time?!! And then came the conflicted feeling: you know, that feeling of “oooh: do I *really* want to do this?” Yes, it sounded like a natural fit. But . . .
- Did I really want to spend *that* much time thinking about Sunday morning worship?
- Did I really want to get into looking at “models of worship”?
- Did the elders really think that a plan of changing worship, kind of like changing a business plan, would really make a difference?
- Is that what God had in store for NFC – an alternative service, or more upbeat music?
- Was that really it?
I had chatted previously with my hubby about this sort of stuff, and he seemed to have a lot of opinions about it, which, if you know him, is a bit shocking: he tends to be an opinion-withholder. As I listened to Gregg’s message, I had this sense that perhaps Jason should be on the committee instead of myself: my attitude seemed more frustrated/jaded than his. Gregg talked with the elders, but the elders felt that the folks being asked to contribute had been prayed about and led to be asked specifically. So, I figured: enh, it can’t hurt…
Our first meeting took place on a Sunday afternoon. The meeting began at 2:00, but folks were encouraged to gather at 1:30 to pray for the church and the group and the process. Elders and a few others were present: a little disheartening.
The same structure was set up for each following meeting, and only one or two people in total showed up to pray beforehand. I understand that it was most likely not an easy time to gather, but I also wondered if the congregation really knew what we were being tasked with and how God could be leading us to a place that could shake us to our core. When that few of people showed up, was it because our individual schedules were more important than the corporate schedule? Or had it not been communicated well to the congregation what was going to be explored? Or did the faith community just not care?
Little People are playing drums . . . with my good whisks. Look for the next installment in a bit.