Weary

So last night looked like:

  • Put Abel down for bed around 9:00ish.
  • Nursed him in his sleep before I went to bed because the “dreamtime feeding” is supposed to help him sleep longer.
  • He woke up at 12:15 – patted him to sleep for 20 minutes.
  • He woke up at 1:30 – nursed him and patted him to sleep for 30 minutes.
  • Judah woke up at 2:30 and had had an accident – mostly our fault because a) he was sleeping hard due to not having a nap that day and 2) we forgot to have him go to the bathroom before bed.
  • Got to bed at 2:50 after having started a load of laundry and feeding the cat, lest he pace on top of me for the rest of the night.  Jokingly told Jason,  “The sad thing is that Abel will be up in an hour.”  Couldn’t fall asleep.
  • Guess who woke up at 3:52?  Nursing.  Patting.  Back to bed at 4:30.
  • At 5:30 Abel joined us in bed because he has a thing for memory foam (does anyone know if they make it cradle-sized?).
  • And at 7:30am he was up.

Now,  we’re supposed to learn a lot about God – our relationship with Him, etc. – through parenting.  He’s our “Heavenly Parent.”  So, what would be His version of nighttime wakings and feedings?  And what’s there to learn in the midst of the weariness?  Because God doesn’t get weary, but boy howdy:  I sure am.

In my Bible Study homework it says “To become ‘weary’ doing good means ‘to give in to trouble; to become exasperated by difficulty, be defeated in spirit, discouraged, or faint-hearted; to despair, lose heart’ (New Testament Lexical Aids).  The Complete Word Study Dictionary of the NT adds this definition: ‘to turn out to be a coward, to lose one’s courage.'”

The answer apparently is to “spend myself” – but right now I’m wondering if there’s much of me to spend.  I know this is just a season and that it will pass, but my how the season seems to last forever when I’m in the midst of it.

7 thoughts on “Weary

  1. grace

    I remember that numb feeling. I hope you find unexpected pockets of rest in your day.

    A large king-size pillow might be big enough to use in a crib and not too expensive.

  2. Abbie

    Oh my dear friend, I HEAR you. I really really do. I too am trying to figure out just how God could POSSIBLY be talking to me/loving me through these EXHAUSTING times. I think my most hated phrase during these times is: ‘this too shall pass, it’s just a season’. Oh how many times I have heard this in the midst of my angst. ugh. No matter how true it is, it never seems true in the middle of it all, huh? 🙂
    P.S. Joannes Fabrics sells large sizes of foam that you can take home and cut into whatever size piece you need-we used that in Liv’s bassinet! While it’s not memory foam, maybe that will help a bit!

  3. Cherice

    Ugh…that sounds way too familiar…I can’t imagine it with TWO of them! May your nights be more relaxing, and may you somehow find God in the midst of it all.

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