Aj Schwanz

When I worked at a library, I quickly became a Spoiled Book Brat:¬† if I saw something interesting, I filled out an order form at the Reference Desk, and almost everything was approved for purchase.¬† PLUS I’d be the first to get to read it:¬† score!

Having relinquished my keys and Dynix login, I have had to adjust to life without my book privileges.¬† For a while I was quite dismayed by the selection at my local library:¬† the new books were seriously lacking, and the old books were . . . well, old.¬† But then I became an Online Hold Junkie:¬† by logging into the cooperative library district, I could request books from around the area, all while sitting in my pajamas or rocking my infant son to sleep in his bouncy chair.¬† Now I wait until I have a stack of holds (which doesn’t take long to add up, both bookwise and taking-up-space-on-the-hold-shelfwise, especially when you put the Gourmet Cookbook on hold and don’t realize that it’s a breezy 1040 pages.¬† I just wanted to see if it had pretty pictures), let Judah loose in the kids section right next to the Circ desk, whip out my card, throw books into the bag, and flee before I become “that woman with all the holds” who brought in “that kid who jumps on stacks of voter booklets in the corner” again (I know what Circ/Youth Desk folks say).
Every once in a while the public library system doesn’t have what I’m looking for; in those times, I exercise my alumni rights and frequent my university’s library.¬† Again, yay for online searches, because believe me, they don’t have a Children’s Department next to the Circ Desk.¬† Recently I received a lovely email notifying me that Stories of Emergence:¬† From Absolute to Authentic came in.¬† I thought it’d be another EC book, probably a compliation of folks who all know each other and are all chummy chummy in the Inner EC Sanctum (not that I’ve seen the Sanctum:¬† I think it’s a bit like Shangri La, only in Minnesota :)).¬†¬† But it’s not:¬† each chapter is written by a different author focusing on an aspect of some sort of “emergence” in their life - in ministry, world view, etc.¬† The importance of sharing personal journeys (i.e. testimonies in Quaker terms) seems to becoming emphasized again:¬† these folks put their money where their mouths are.

As you read these stories you will find a safe place to doubt and question your faith and be the real you. Follow the stories of these “formers” who were steeped in their beliefs–a former fundamentalist, Pentecostal, liberal, feminist, communist, and several others–and walk with them on their journeys. See what twists and turns arise before them, and find out what they learned (about faith, themselves, their beliefs, the world) as they emerged on the other side.

The first section of stories are regarding ministry, and they really struck home.¬† It reminded me of elements of my journey that I shared during my Yearly Meeting workshop, and I’m thinking it may be time to share again.¬† I’m not sure what form it will take.¬† And I’m also mindful of appropriate sharing.¬† Sharing on the World Wide Web can be intimate but also boundary-building:¬† there certain elements that can be lacking - accountibility, caution, a common vocabulary, correct communication.¬† Initially the same could be said for a book or any reading material, but blogging can be very immediate and reactive rather than thoughtful and intentional:¬† it takes discipline to be balanced.

Where do you share your story?  Or do you share at all?  Do you feel like you have a venue, opportunities to bless others with your experiences?  Sometimes it can be hard in suburbia, with our lack of pubs (which, my husband always reminds me, started off as public rooms with alcohol served rather than just a bar).  I wonder where we can create space to share and be together. . .

“Um. .¬† . is this thing on?¬† Is anyone watching over this blog?¬† Hello?”¬† I wonder sometimes if that’s what folks think when they come to my site and see that it hasn’t been updated in foreverandeveramen.¬† And sometimes I wonder with my blabberings that are shot out into the great blogosphere if folks think, “Um . . . who let that kid have a blog?”¬† Similar to what happened this week as we took our 21 month old son to a wedding and amazingly enough he started to act up (shocking, I know:¬† a toddler not want to get dressed up and sit still and meet strangers after flying on an airplane and sleeping (well, dozing) in a hotel?!!?).¬† He was across the room being chased, and I started to joke, “Man, who was dumb enough to bring a toddler to a wedding?¬† What a non-non.”¬† Heh heh.¬† Okay, so I’m not that funny.¬† I’ll leave the stand-up comedy routine to Gregg (who this morning compared himself to a dog on a leash.¬† I’ll let him explain that one).

Thank you SO much for your comments.¬† Hearing other experiences and thoughts and ponderings is a true blessing, a gift. ¬† I hope to lead this workshop more as a facilitator than a “teacher” because the collective experiences are so much deeper than my singular experience.

Starla’s comment hit close to home:

I am facinated that the Friends are experiencing the decline of membership from the same demographic that is flocking to the emergent movement. I find it facinating, because Friends are more theologically similar to the emergent movement than almost any other denomination. . . . So, I can’t help but be personal about what I experienced. I know that I tired of the love affair Quakers have about beieng Quaker. I tired of reading Fox, Trueblood, etc. I tired of feeling like I need a personality make-over to be a good Quaker–have you noticed the similarity in personality within the group? Similar mannerisms? I tired of silence-all the time. I wanted to mix it up and be loud from time to time. I tired of the tradition of not following tradition, as I see value in the liturgical movement.

I’ve been reading some Quaker history stuff:¬† pamphlets, books, etc.¬† I realized that I’m pretty saturated in emerging church and young adults, but not so much in Quakerism and young adults.¬† Since I’m facilitating two workshops, I figured I should probably know about both.¬†
In my readings what truly struck me was how responsive the early Quakers were to the Spirit, no matter how abnormal it looked to their culture.¬† Yet, they didn’t behave simply to be counter-cultural:¬† they were following the call of the Spirit.¬† They sought “Primitive Christianity Revived” - hey, isn’t that what the emerging church movement desires as well?¬† Starla seems to resonate with that as well, and this has led her to attend an emerging church.

I don’t feel the call to leave my meeting (yet:¬† you never know), but I do understand her frustration with the “love affair with Quakerism” (I might call it “idolizing”).¬† Living in Northwest Quaker Mecca (i.e. our Yearly Meeting/Area Headquarters and George Fox University are here) I am saturated with Quaker culture, but it’s mixed:¬† some is contemporary, some is old school.¬† Yearly Meeting is interesting - a sort of “which Quaker are you?” experiment.¬† Do you talk about Jesus or Christ?¬† The Spirit or the Light?¬† Are you Board of Evangelism or Social Concerns?¬† Do you think that the Peace committee is making a difference or is a home for misplaced flower children?¬† I’ve heard so much reverence for Fox and Trueblood from folks that I haven’t necessarily seen living out anything radical or worthwhile that I stayed away from those writers until now.¬† And man:¬† I love this stuff!¬† So much truth - straight to the point.¬† But I think I’m in a place where I’m ready to receive their writings due to my experience with Emerging Church - it’s put the overall truths into a cultural context for me.

“It is important, as our contemporary rediscovery proceeds, that we do not succumb to the temptation to idolize the earliest Quaker period.¬† The past cannot be repeated and ought not to be repeated even if it were possible.¬† What is important is that the vision of greatness demonstrated in an earlier time may help¬† men and women of this generation to know how to discover the secret of an equal vitality, with relevance to the contemporary situation.”¬† Trueblood

Starla said she thought Woolman would be jumping and yelling if he were around today, but would it be allowed?¬† What about Fox?¬† Would he be blogging and podcasting as a current means of spreading a message?¬† Would he be saying, “Does thee fare well today?” or “S’up?”¬† Would Elizabeth Fry be wearing gray, or would she be wearing environmentally-friendly, sweatshop-free made clothes, and then campaigning to eliminate the sweatshop environments?¬† Would William Penn have created a place like MySpace, venturing out into the new territory of the internet to create a community?
A lot of time is spent nailing down, “What kind of Quaker are you?”¬† I don’t know how much of the early Quakers did that;¬† it seems that they listened to their leaders, their community, the Scriptures, and the Light.¬† They wanted folks to be pointed, not towards them and their actions, but towards the Spirit:¬† to encounter Christ personally.¬† That’s the type of folks young adults are drawn to.¬† That’s a place where growth and expansion and radical transformation can happen.¬† That’s where I ache to be.
(And instead of riding naked into town on a donkey, do you think Naylor would’ve done a naked stunt on a reality show?¬† You gotta wonder. . . )¬†

I’ve maintained this blog for almost a year now.¬† I discovered blogging as a new mama trapped mostly at home:¬† when I couldn’t leave the townhouse due to napping or feeding schedules, I could still connect with the “outside world” via these personal weblogs - total blessing.

At the same time I was struggling with the question of “where have all the young adults gone?” in regards to participation in my worship gathering.¬† My friends and I seemed to have a real experience of Christ in high school, and yet we all faded away come college and entrance into young adulthood.¬† I was recruited to facilitate a workshop at our Yearly Meeting (Annual Conference) regarding The Missing Generation.¬† In preparing, folks pointed me in the direction of postmodernism and the emerging church.¬† But as I threw my questions and experiences out into the grand blogosphere, God opened an unexpected door into connecting with those in my tradition (Quakers) from different branches.

As I said, it’s almost been a year which means that Yearly Meeting is coming up.¬† The workshop last year was a great time of questioning and conversing, and I’ve been asked to facilitate two workshops this year to continue the conversation:¬† one on Emerging and Young Adults, and the other on Quakerism and Young Adults (the titles are more snazzy than that, but I can’t remember them exactly - they’re that snazzy).¬† My mind is saturated with experiences, questions, ways folks are living out good stuff, ways folks aren’t doing so hot, places young adults are, and opportunities to connect.¬† But sometimes when one is *so* in something, it’s hard to know what would be the best stuff to tackle when we gather together.

SO:¬† I’d like to hear from you.¬† Really.¬† I’m not kidding.¬† I’m not asking out of politeness (which I could, having been raised in a proper Southern tradition).¬† You:¬† I wanna know.

• Do these topics (young adults and emerging and/or Quakerism) sound relevant to your situation?

• What assumptions do you have when you hear “young adults”?¬† “Emerging”?¬† “Quaker”?

• Why would you attend such a gathering?

• What would you hope to bring to this conversation?

• What would you hope to take away?

A number of folks have told me, “I read your blog and wanted to leave a comment, but I don’t have anything to say.”¬† I think you do.¬† Others have told me, “I don’t have the time.”¬† Call me - on your way to work or the store or while you’re walking the puppy.¬† Some say, “I don’t feel comfortable sharing publically.”¬† Email me:¬† my contact info’s on the sidebar.¬† I have been so blessed by connecting with you all:¬† thank you for sharing with me.

So I did it:¬† I read Confessions of a Reformission Rev.:¬† Hard Lessons from an Emerging Missional Church.¬† Those of you in EC circles probably will think, “Why?¬† He’s a punk!”¬† And those of you in Quaker circles will probably think, “Who?”

See, Mark Driscoll pastors a rather hearty-sized church called Mars Hill up in Seattle:  this story chronicles his journey creating a gathering aimed at 18-35 year olds in one of the least churched areas of the nation.  Dan Kimball says it best:

“After reading a book like this, you can never go back to being an inward focued church without a missions.¬† Even if you disagree with Mark about some of the things he says, you cannot help but be convinced to your core about what it means to have a heart for those who don’t know Jesus.”

Because there certainly is an amount of his actions that I question.¬† And yet after reading this book, I can honestly say it is the confessions of a man seeking after God’s heart and call for a specific culture.¬† It’s also spurred me into a mini-crisis of faith . . . but that’s for further blog posts, if at all.

While this book is autobiographical, it’s also a great practical resource for thinking about how, why, and what to do when starting a church.¬† It would be easy for folks to write it off saying, “Well, Mark did it this way, and I don’t agree with that, so I don’t think it applies.”¬† I believe the truths he speaks of are that - truths:¬† the distinctives, or ways they manifest themselves in specific places and cultures, will look different.¬† His church tracks the tithes of members:¬† if your pledge is short, they call you up - moreso out of concern (usually it’s because of a lost job or failing health, and they want to be a support), but also to make sure you are doing your part as a member.¬† That kind of “parental” accountiblity kinda makes my skin crawl . . . but then again, my church just went through somewhat of a budget crisis, and Mars Hill is doing *just* fine.¬† His sermons can be loud, over-the-top, and sometimes bordering on X-rated as he tackles the subjects of marriage, sex, and sexual purity.¬† He doesn’t hold anything back, which has turned many people off.¬† But I found it to be strangely refreshing (though don’t get any ideas, Gregg; you wouldn’t want my mother shaking her head at you).¬† And I can imagine why young adults in Seattle would be attracted to his potentially-vulgar talk:¬† he’s telling it like it is, no bars held, which doesn’t happen very often in Christianity.¬† Folks are looking for answers; if we don’t give answers, they’ll go someplace else.
Not only is this book a “confessional,” but it’s also a practical guide in what is involved in building a church, at least in his case.¬† Again, I believe the distinctives will look different each time, but many of the truths are universal, such as how to set up a governing/elders board or raise funds or balance the roles of family member and pastor at the same time.¬† He read some “noted authors” regarding structure, the culture he was ministering to, pastoring, but the majority of his leadings came directly from Scripture.¬†¬† He found that God provided an amazing amount of guidence in the ways the churches were established in the New Testament as well as providing a foundation for right living.¬† I found that incredibly refreshing:¬† to be honest, I’m getting a little tired of people’s opinions and arguments - I’d rather hear it straight from the source.¬† And I’d say that’s something that’s lacking in a lot of our churches today:¬† we preach our own mission and try to work Christ’s mission into it - pretty sad.
I did struggle with some of his fundamentalist stands.¬† For instance, his church does not allow women to be elders or pastors.¬† Coming from my Quaker background, that certainly does not resonate with me:¬† I know a number of women who I believe had a call placed on their hearts to serve in that capacity, and I believe people were blessed and God’s kingdom furthered because of it.¬† But maybe it’s something that’s a call for his specific mission area . . . I struggle because I’ve heard the pain of Seattle women who feel their ministry has been hurt because of Mars Hills’ influence in the area, but not being directly in Washington and experiencing it, it’s heresay on both sides.¬† But the least I can say is Driscoll lays it flat out on the table:

“Eventually I’ll write some books on these subjects, but for the sake of brevity, I will now simply come out of the closet and reveal that I am an intense biblical literalist who believes that the man is the head of the home, that the man should provide for his family, that children are a blessing, and that we would not have so many deceived feminists running around if men were better husbands and fathers because the natural reaction of godly women to godly men is trust and respect.¬† For some, this theological instruction was as popular as a fart in an elevator, and they left our church.¬† But the more than one hundred couples we trained in the first few years of the class remain happily married today and serve Jesus as missionaries, knowing that their marriage is for the gospel as much as the gospel is for their marriage.”¬† (67)¬† Hmmm. . .

So yeah:¬† it’s mouthy.¬† It’s more on the fundamental side.¬† It’s honest.¬† It seems to be a way that God’s moving in parts of the Seattle area.¬† Have you ever found truth in things you didn’t quite agree with?¬† What did you do with it?

It’s been well documented that I like stuff dealing in the realm of the edible (when you refer to hosts on the Food Network as family members, it might be time to get some help).¬† I’ve been struggling as of late how to lead an intentional life in suburbia, which can be particularly challenging in regards to eating.¬† One generally shops at an impersonal megafood store for food that’s affordable but probably not so wholesome, and then one drives home to prepare it for one’s immediate family - home-cooked can mean actually preparing food or unwrapping and microwaving it at home.
I was reading Cooking Light, and they’ve been advocating the idea of supper clubs.¬† Most of them take place in an urban area:¬† folks get together once a week and share a meal, mostly to try new foods.¬† But this time the magazine ran an article on a set of three neighbors:¬† on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday they trade meals (family A cooks three meals on¬† Monday and takes them to families B and C; family B does the same on Wednesday; family C on Friday).¬† Once a month they gather together for a large gathering.¬† The preparers get together and evaluate how the¬† meals worked, food considerations, etc.¬† They have “get out of jail free” cards for when families travel.¬† What a great idea!¬† If only I knew my neighbors . . .

The other neat thing they highlighted was Community Supported Agriculture.¬† Folks can either spend time in a community garden at a local farm and have picking rights, or they can have a subscription to get a basket of fresh veggies, fruits, flowers, and herbs weekly.¬† There’s actually some places that do it in my area.¬† It seems a little spendy, but I wonder if it’d be cheaper in the long run - not buying as much at the grocery store because I know I have stuff to use up at home.¬† The farms are organic and local:¬† all good things to support - both for the farms and for healthier eating.

Do you have any ways that you are intentional about your eating habits?¬† If you live in the ‘berg, do you wanna do sumthin together?