Aj Schwanz

God is wonky.  Two Sundays ago was a powerful service . . . for most folks.  I
sat there frustrated, anxious, and pretty curmudgeony:¬† why is service the same ol’ thing every week?¬† Is Graham Cooke right - a God capable of creating a bajillion types of insects must be bored out of his skull with our Worship Structure/Formula?¬† I’m glad that folks recognize that Christ loves them, but isn’t there more to the message than that?¬† Yes, Newberg Friends has had some amazing people come through it’s doors:¬† but what about the amazing people who never come . . . and don’t need to? ¬† How do we connect with them where they’re at?

As I looked around, feeling as though everyone was moving with the tide of the Spirit except difficult ol’ me, I wondered if I needed to leave - both momentarily and maybe permanently.¬† Maybe this was God’s way of motivating me:¬† making me so uncomfortable on Sunday mornings as I actually somewhat dread the hour plus internal struggle - how much longer can I simply sit on the pew?¬† Gregg mentioned that individuals at NFC were responding to the Spirit in powerful ways in their communities - I almost resorted back to two-year-old Aj by throwing a temper tantrum yelling, “Who are they?!!!¬† Why don’t I know them?!!¬† How can we work together?!!?¬† Why aren’t we more connected?!!”

So why is God wonky?¬† Because that afternoon as I contemplated setting off on a new journey, I received a voicemail from someone asking me to take a position as Recording Clerk for the Business Meetings.¬† As I was listening to the details, I started laughing hysterically:¬† I’m fortunate my husband didn’t commit me.¬† So, before me lay two options:¬† to leave or to get further involved.

It wasn’t an easy decision:¬† having not attended a business meeting, I assume that it’s dealing with a lot of “overhead” issues (salaries, building, administrative type stuff) - stuff that early Quakers and emerging church say we shouldn’t devote so much time to.¬† But then while I was reading Never Eat Alone (no, it’s not a food book - it’s about networking… with a little eating¬† :)¬† ), the author made the statement “You need to give more than you ever expect to receive.”¬† My giving has been very poor as of late, but my expectations of taking are overwhelming:¬† mememe!!!! Over and over he emphasizes the importance of relationships.¬† I wanted to throw a tantrum because I don’t feel like I have good enough connections/relationships with folks at NFC:¬† I guess this could be a way to find that out!
After talking with the Presiding Clerk, I decided to accept the role.¬† Recording Clerk is a position I am very familiar with (thank you Friends Youth Exec, temp. Board of Evangelism, and my former boss with weekly staff meetings).¬† Meetings are quarterly.¬† And who knows what I’ll learn/be able to bring to the meetings.¬† A friend commented, “Well, that’s the way to get young adults to come to the meetings - enlist them.”¬† I doubt many more young adults will come, and I don’t know that they necessarily need to.¬† But at least I can be a voice - a connection on both sides.¬† And if things need shaking up, I can always throw a little temper tantrum for good measure.¬†