Aj Schwanz

I woke up this morning in a funk. It could be the fact that my son woke up too early, yowling. It could be the constant gray skies that slowly wear away my reserve of sunny hopefulness. It could be that something’s moving in the Spirit: who knows.

It snowed here last week - a freak dumping of very wet snow that did nothing but cause a little two-hour delay for public schools. While the valley floor cleared off quickly, the hills remained white into the weekend. On Friday in a brief bit a sunshine, I looked up and saw the vineyards outlined with white, and an ache opened in my heart. “Oh, I miss that,” I thought. I miss my Idaho winters, with their ice blue skies and white winter ground and dry, dry air. How can I ache for something like that? Why does it rouse such a strong impulse to drive east until I pass a sign that says “Welcome to the Gem State” and never look West again? Where do those feelings come from?

This morning I read multiple blogs posting about the passing of Tom Fox: he was part of the kidnapped Christian Peacemaker Team in Iraq. And that ache opened in my heart again: an ache for his family and loved ones, a desire for things like this to STOP HAPPENING, a yearning for peace and understanding foreverandeveramen. I don’t know Tom Fox: I haven’t met him, and to be honest, I thought of him randomly - passing prayers of “Lord, please be with the team.” And yet there’s part of my heart that’s grieving for this unknown, personally-unexperienced situation: I grieve the loss of an amazing friend of God; I grieve the loss of my dream of this issue resolving itself; I grieve that death most likely was not peaceful or easy; I grieve the evil that has been committed.

Some might say his actions were foolish, but what’s better - a fool for God or “wise” for one’s own selfish desires? Now is a time to come together - to speak love - to flow into peace - to come into God’s presence and seek His healing, comforting glory.

I know U2’s become the new, hip, “sacred in the secular” group to quote, but this song has great meaning to me. Ever since I’ve heard it, it’s been the lullaby I sing to the little ones I’ve watched: a prayer of blessing (and sometimes desperation) over them. And so I offer this as my prayer in memory of Tom Fox.

“M.L.K.”
Sleep
Sleep tonight
And may your dreams
Be realized
If the thunder cloud
Passes rain
So let it rain
Rain down him
So let it be
So let it be

Sleep
Sleep tonight
And may your dreams
Be realized
If the thundercloud
Passes rain
So let it rain
Let it rain
Rain on him