Aw, Snap

I so got called out. By myself. On my own blog.

So have you heard me talking about community? How we need to be a part of each otherís lives? How church is a way of living, not an activity?

And then what do I do? Talk about how I really like sitting up in the balcony of my worship gathering so that I can be anonymous and not bothered and participate on the level that I feel comfortable with, and then leave to continue on with my week without connecting with others. Itís almost like I could hear God chuckling while I thought I was being witty but in reality proceeded to make an ass of myself. And publically: for all to read. Stink.

Iím part of a small group thatís called Listening Life – itís a place to make space to come and listen to Christ. The group has only met twice, and weíre currently laying the groundwork for what it means to be part of a small group. This last weekís focus: community.

HOW DID I NOT SEE ALL OF THIS COMING?!!? Itís like Iím the dumb blonde going up the stairs in a dark deserted house on Halloween in the horror flick; or the character on Days of Our Lives who everyone thinks is dead for the fourteenth time but really isnít; or changing my sonís diaper before heís pooped only to have the grunting begin once I pull up his pants – HOW DID I NOT SEE ALL OF THIS COMING?!!?

ìCommunity is not a sterile place that simply serves as a building in which to do prayer practices; rather the practice of living in the community is itself a prayer practice. As we allow others to relate to the life of a community as we would relate to any other prayer technique, we are formed and transformed by God.î ~ Daniel Wolpert, Creating a Life with God

So what does this mean? Walking my talk – and thatís the danger of having a blog, because Iím talking all the time (all of a sudden ìless is moreî sounds appealing). I oftentimes feel the opposite of folks: many find the intimacy of sharing in a small group threatening or scary – Iíll spill my guts. But put me in a large group of people, and I suddenly go to spectator-mode – I donít even like sharing on the surfacy level!

Iím comfortable with my small group community; how do I become part of the larger community? What does that look like? How can it be more than, ìHow are you today?î . . . or does it need to be more than that? How does one do community when the meeting for worship spans three services and two levels of seats?

Iím glad God doesnít mock me: I think I do a fair job myself.

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